it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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