Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
