were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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