He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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