yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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