Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize