WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
