I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
