I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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