She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
