Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
