Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
