Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
