Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
