ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
