Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
