i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
