Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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