she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
