I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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