i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
