For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
