woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
