My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The Olympian is in my bed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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