I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
