then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
