Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
