We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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