Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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