I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You ruined the universe
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
