That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
