Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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