Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
