I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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