there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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