I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
