she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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