Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
