Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I need to align my fucking chakras
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
