She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Life is so much better after having sex.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
