If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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