Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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