I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
