Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
