Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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