Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
