Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize