If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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