Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize