Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
