Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
