my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
