i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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