You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
