you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
