Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
