The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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