is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
