We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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