ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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