ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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