i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have already put on my inside pants.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
