...so i touched it.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
