i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
