bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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