you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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